Busiest BRIE

There’s a river of Finglands, Stagecoach, First There’s gaps in the tide preceding the bursts Banners of promotion sliding snakes A million and one obliging “cheers mate”s Clouds of vape from the top back seats Of strawberry cheesecake, bottom shelf sweets Students, prudence, reluctant commutes Buzzing devices headphoned or mute A feminine rhyme but not … More Busiest BRIE

Don’t Judge

Don’t judge I’ve never once visited Scotland Despite growing up in the north of England Don’t judge I’ve never read Lord of the Rings I use Bing And I cringe any time I hear Adele sing Don’t judge I can’t stand first person shooters Bought Bewitch’s album with OK Computer Don’t judge I tend to … More Don’t Judge

Nag’s Head Barfly

Christmas period 2006 Covent Garden pub on a cold evening shift This face half lit in the midst of a breakup Malboro, double espresso, slap and wake up Lug this conflicted heart to the back of the bar Take off my hoodie, hat and scarf to start Who’s on tonight? Please nobody stress inducing Pulses … More Nag’s Head Barfly

Nag’s Head Barfly

Christmas period 2006 Covent Garden pub on a cold evening shift This face half lit in the midst of a breakup Malboro, double espresso, slap and wake up Lug this conflicted heart to the back of the bar Take off my hoodie, hat and scarf to start Who’s on tonight? Please nobody stress inducing Pulses … More Nag’s Head Barfly

Lost Keys

Moderation is key and I’m a lock jammed with gum Either excess or abstinence; can’t deal with a little or some Rule of thumb, just one leads to another No dismount, lose count, reckless and smothered Discard one fling out comes another lover One night stand, grand, and then your kids she’s mothered Then you’re … More Lost Keys

Spotting a Twat on Social Media for Dummies

“If you agree click like and share” “Witch hunt” “Triggered” “Thoughts and prayers” “Shillary” “Killary” “SJW” “Remoaner” “Bremoaner” “Remainiac” “Fake news!” “MAGA” “Sheeple” “Will of the people” “Snowflake” “Lefty liberal type” “Libtard” “Feminazi” “SAD!” “I bet this doesn’t even get one like”