Extensions
Been bald all my life so I bought some extensions
Took talks to convince my wife of the pretension
Short chords at first the size of a finger
Looked like a mid nineties soul singer
PM Dawn, Soul 2 Soul
Not my goal to look like a minger
Went to the wig shop, got quite cross I asked what other short extensions they’d got
Tied on to the chords, had a little bob
The bloke in the shop said it looked a bit odd
You’d look great with longer he said
You’d look stable and stronger he said
Went in the back to his secret stash and pulled out a bag with a tag that read:
-Natural Growing and Flowing Extensions
“This is just one of my latest inventions
Plug these in, give a little rinse and witness the most divine of ascensions”
With mild apprehension I started to knot
Flipped on the tap until the water got hot
Unsure if this would work or not
Sod it! May as well try and give it a shot
Looked in the mirror and what did I see?
A fit Disney prince looking back at me
Locks with volume, luscious and free
Then kept on growing past my thighs, past my knees
Extensions grew into the floors, walls and ether
No longer a man but a tribble-like creature
Extensions bursting out the chimney and windows
Out to the streets and flowing down the roads
Filling up the towns, the country and the cities
It may sound grim but looked kind of pretty
Never-ending extensions covering the land
Masking the baldness and shades of ham
