Don’t Judge

Don’t judge
I’ve never once visited Scotland
Despite growing up in the north of England
Don’t judge
I’ve never read Lord of the Rings
I use Bing
And I cringe any time I hear Adele sing
Don’t judge
I can’t stand first person shooters
Bought Bewitch’s album with OK Computer
Don’t judge
I tend to sit down when i pee
Can’t be fussed with missing and cleaning up the seat
Don’t judge
I get pissed after 2 or 3 beers
I once had two little studs in my ears (for a day)
I don’t give a damn about any world cup
I’m baffled by the use of any makeup
Don’t judge
I pop my spots and make them much worse
I use my kids as an excuse to miss meetings at work
Don’t judge
I’m complacent if money is concerned
I’ve spent way way more than I’ve honestly earned
Don’t judge
American music is the best
My artist of the noughties is Kanye West
Don’t judge
I’ve started to dismiss all birthdays
I’m constantly pining for my earlier ways
Don’t judge
I’ve written more poems than I’ve read
I’ve hidden more confessions than I’ve already said
Don’t judge
Even though it’s all I seem to do
Don’t judge me
The way I’m always judging you

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