Balls

IMG_4268You’re a man?
From Manchester?
And you don’t like footy?
But which do you prefer between United and City?
You don’t even know who’s playing on Sunday?
But there’s nothing more important than this one game
No I will laugh in your face
To Manc kind you’re a disgrace
No Gazza hasn’t played for England since 1998
Mate, you sure you’re not gay?
Got something to say?
I’m afraid today we’re going to have to take your balls away
Nothing more straight than watching models play
Getting all hot and sweaty with manicured nails
And an elongated embrace any time a goal is made
It’s a beautiful game
And you’re fucking strange
You watch the world cup though eh?
What?!
So not just football but your country you hate
No it doesn’t matter if we’re out after a couple of games
We were robbed anyway,
For that you’ve got the Krauts to blame
Bet you love it in the the summer when the footy goes away
And we all have to wait
It’s a damn shame
Bet you revel in our pain
For a couple of weeks
Until it all starts up again
How do you ever get laid?
What do you talk about with your mates?
Do you ever have anything interesting to say?
How do you look your kids in the face?
Or wake up to the new day?
You may as well pack up your case and move to the USA
Naysaying traitor
Tradition violator
Bet you’ve never even tried to watch
Here, sit down
I’ll make ya

 


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