Class 2000

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Trip Hop’s in love with Hip Hop, if only he could change his ways
Like Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? she’s worried what the folks will say
She takes his style but drops the rapping and makes it a bit more British
Adds mood and sex and in search of respect resultantly ends up less wittish

Not just a clique hen and at the weekend she hangs out with Drum n Bass
He dunt need melody, going slow’s a felony and craves to get off his face
He’ll dance until the cows come home which is ironic considering the place
A meadow squat his life his lot turn up the BPM rate

Now Hip Hop would look at Trip Hop if she wasn’t so middle class
He likes to keep it filthy needs a turbo ghetto ass
But this kid’s never been in a hood and often needs to prove it
He’s 5ft5 hood twice the size to intimidate he never removes it

Show Tunes is a nice boy, super polite boy, wearing silky shirts and suede
Not that it matters we were all so sure, but he swears he isn’t gay
He’s best of friends with Classical, the most well spoken girl
Studious, pleasant, intelligent but you can’t help but feel she looks down on the world

Most care free is Sugar Pop who dares most to be cool or not
In pyjamas dances a fool a lot whatever Galaxy 102 has got
RnB tags along with her, and no one messes with this bird
And although the boys all hate the tune, they’re desperate to get in a flirt

Indie feels that he’s correct and he commands the most respect
On the radio, but not too heavy, soft, cheesy, not a toff the others should defect
The perfect balance of mainstream and underground to the point he’s talking other styles down
To the point he’s scared to try anything new, 5 chords, bit bored but he’ll stick around

All the group not universal but all are tolerated
The Metal Kids are outcasts, by everyone else are hated
All they hear is screaming, is that shit even music?
But each one of the gang has found their own unique way to use it

Nu- Metal tries to be mates with Hip Hop by swearing a lot but can’t shake the hard rock
Death Metal’s big and just wants to have fun but finds it impossible without destroying his ear drums
Goth Metal loves Joy Division and Cure but ripped pale gents is what she really adores
And Classic Metal, deserves a medal for sticking to his roots
He tries and fails to convince the others and is frustrated they won’t follow suit
Really he despises them, and doesn’t even pretend
Especially Sk8 Punk and Ska but without them he’d have no friends

Finally we’ve got Chameleon, pals with everyone
Whispers in everybody’s ear “You’re my favourite song”
He really couldn’t care less about the rhythm or fashion they’re dragging
He’ll go with whichever one with the highest chance of a shagging.


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