Well let’s start with the pot sitting next to the door
Pour out a few coins i swore there’d be more
58, 59, 63, 64
I told Rob it’d be a few pounds to be sure

Well there used to be silver and maybe even a quid
But when you’re as skint as me sometimes you lift the lid
If it’s a few days to payday and you’ve got nothing in
You won’t let a pot noodle’s worth just sit in the tin

“Well 64p’s not going to get us shit”
The day is young we’re not the kind to quit
Let’s turn up every coaster, lift every carpet edge
In fact I know Kamila’s got a few coppers on her window ledge

Hey, more than a few, I got 83p
That’s one forty seven, check next to the TV
Got seven pennies and a button to be cliché
“What time’s Louise back from work did she say?”

Not till later on, plus that dick’d give us nothing
“Doesn’t she have a hidden place for her to put her change in?”
No harm in trying like i say she’s out all day
A piggy bank how quaint but smashing it’s the only way

“Let’s crack it” Nah I’ve got to live with this twat
If I piss her off Kamila’d kick me out the flat
We can turn it upside down and see what comes out
I can see goldy bronze in there, here shake it about

“Bollocks it’s pretty difficult to get it through the slot
The fives are a bit easier but I’m not sure there’s a lot

Is that the front door? It’s John, Louise’s fella
“What are you guys doing?” Looking for shrapnel, please don’t tell her
“I won’t cos she’ll kill you but you’d better put Wilbur down”
Hey John? Don’t suppose you’ve got any money lying around

“I’ve got 26p and you can have and a couple of cigs”
Feel like I’m a homeless now but I am dying for a brig
“Right, give me the pig, I’m off to take a shower”
We’ve only got 2.22 and they open in an hour

“Actually it’s 3.22, just before we got caught
I managed to squeeze a pound out of that pork”
We’re doing well, true, but our time limit is down
There’s cash I’m confident that hasn’t been found

We massage the sofa and lift her dress
Inadvertently clean up my bedroom mess
Rummage through the pockets in the laundry
And all of a sudden it dawned on me

What have we become?
Is this how life is run?
How did we come to this?
Just to get a bit…..

Sod that Rob’s found another quid in the living room draw
Just in time for the grand opening, let’s tally our final score.
4 pound 39, that’ll get us more than nowt
But the shop man’s going to be a knob if he has to count it all out

1’s and 2’s and fives, line up Rob’s arms and mine
We rock up at the shop a minute after opening time
My good man 2 litres of Old English and your cheapest pack of bines!
We present our jewel encrusted sleeves, he softly sighs. “Fine”

Yar! We are fine pirates on a treasure hunt.
Two skint come down victims, after a liquid lunch!


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