Flabbergasted (aka Fluctuate)

img_3293If my body’s on time lapse
You’d see how my flab flaps
An accordion blow fish
Occasional dish

I wish for a bottomless pit
Regardless of input continually fit
No delicacy, bellicacy sweet or dairy quit
Forever slender to be active or sit

A bouncing baby like all of the rest
A seven year old skeleton, bones out my chest
An eight year old Porgy missing his Bess
The envy of teen girls; perfect breasts

At 17 the nest was left
13 hour shifts of grafting heft
Collect and clean. Amphetamines
Relationships causing stress

But side effects made me feel blessed
Not quite Brad Pitt but Ed Norton none the less
Until a kitchen was at my command
Never a dip dipped chip out of hand

Girlfriend can’t stand nor support my weight
Double the size of Norbit’s date
Don’t have to break it’s not too late
18 stone or more, Ricki Lake hate

iPod 1 never off play
Workplace and home, far away
Extortionate bus fare, reluctant to pay
1 hour both ways, every single day

Scale pin moving from 18 to 12
2 or 3 years this level was shelved
Freddie Ljungberg many would tell
“Dream on” my friends “you arrogant bell!”

Hell, i’ve lost it, moving to China
Regular drinker, professional diner
Noodles and barbecue couldn’t be finer
Back to my regular flabby waist liner

“Find me a woman!” my size would repulse
Marry a treadmill reduce my pulse
Wedding day, as thin as could be
Comfortable life, necking beer, scranning cheese

Now I fluctuate on a monthly basis
Fad diets and laziness, running in places
But never so slender always carrying something
Hungry forever, addicted to pudding.

So take a snapshot, today I’m hot
Tomorrow Eating Gilbert Grape or not?
But do fear not if the chubs is a lot
A time lock enforced on the cookie pot

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